Finding a Professional Mentor

What Is a Professional Mentor?

A professional mentor is a respected and successful person in a field who is willing to meet with someone entering the field regularly and share his or her knowledge, experience, and wisdom.

• A mentor encourages the mentee to seek answers and to become an effective problem solver.
• A mentor offers suggestions, not solutions, allowing the mentee to select suitable solutions without pressure or coercion.
• A mentor acts as an educator and coach, providing support to and empowering the mentee.
• A mentor can provide invaluable contacts and guidance to ensure the success of the mentee.

Mentor Profile

A good mentor has the ability to support and empower others. He or she should be a respected professional with the knowledge and contacts to help someone just breaking into a field. In addition, a mentor should have the following qualities:

• High standards (in ethical behavior and other areas) and a commitment to excellence
• Proven effectiveness and success
• Respect for the abilities of others
• Outstanding self-management and conflict management skills
• Some commitment to spend time in shared learning
• Willingness to be an advocate and supporter
• TrustworthinessÃ'both the ability to trust and the ability to be trusted
• Empathy and caring for others
• Outstanding communication skills
• Openness to new ideas
• Self-confidence and the ability to empower others
• A positive attitude
• Flexibility

What to Expect from a Mentor

Relationships between mentors and mentees can take many shapes and forms. They can last for several weeks or for a lifetime. They can involve frequent, long, intimate conversations or short talks every six months. They can be very consistent and formalized or sporadic and informal. One mentee can have several mentors, each providing advice in a different area.

Mentees must know two things:

1. What the mentee wants from the relationship
2. What the mentor can provide to further the menteeÃ.s professional career

Mentees need to have realistic expectations about the mentor/mentee relationship. They should always attempt to set clear, mutually determined goals and actively strive for success. A professional mentor should be expected to do the following:

• Offer professional coaching, advice, and guidance.
• Connect the mentee with relevant contacts.
• Give the mentee a recommendation.
• Assist the mentee with work-related challenges.
• Direct the mentee toward resources and educational opportunities to further the menteeÃ.s career.
• Allow the mentee to shadow the mentor for a day.

On the other hand, a professional mentor should not be expected to do the following:

• Offer the mentee a job (although this may happen, it is dangerous to expect it).
• Provide the mentee with financial assistance.
• Help the mentee deal with personal problems.
• Be available whenever the mentee needs or wants to talk. A worthy mentor should be a very busy working professional.
• Be the menteeÃ.s best friend.

Approaching a Possible Mentor

It can be difficult to approach a respected professional and ask that person to be your mentor. Here are some tips:

• Learn everything you can about the mentor candidate.
• Attempt to get someone who knows the mentor candidate to introduce you.
• Find out if mentoring is something that the mentor candidate does or has done in the past.
• If possible, get to know the mentor candidate a little before discussing your interest in being a mentee.
• Be direct and clear when you speak with the mentor candidate. Say something like "Hi, I'm _______, and I am honored to finally meet you. I have been looking for a mentor. Would you consider taking me on as a mentee?"
• After meeting this person you can write an honest and sincere letter stating your interest in having the person be your mentor.
• Remember that most people are flattered to be seen as a worthy mentor.
• Be prepared to clearly state your professional goals and accomplishments.
• Be prepared for rejection. Not everyone is interested in mentoring. Do not take a rejection personally.
• Be yourself.

Making Mentoring Relationships Work

Like any important relationship, your relationship with your mentor takes work. It is always important to remember that your mentor is a busy professional, and is doing you a special favor by taking the time to give you professional guidance and support. Always keep an "attitude of gratitude" in your mind. The following guidelines will help you make your mentor/mentee relationship as successful as possible:

• Discuss your expectations about the mentor/mentee relationship with your mentor. Learn what your mentor thinks about the relationship.
• Be flexible. Your mentor, as a busy professional, may need to reschedule or shorten meetings sometimes.
• Always be on time for your meetings.
• Dress appropriately for your meetings. Different work environments may have different codes of dress.
• Never request or accept money from your mentor.
• Never discuss personal problems unless the discussion is initiated by the mentor.
• Always arrive at meetings with appropriate topics to discuss or questions to ask.
• Let the mentor take the lead. A good mentor will give you direction and suggestions about what you should be working on in your meetings and in your professional life.

One Way to Find a Mentor

Literary, performing, and visual artists who teach classes regularly take on less experienced people as assistants and enter into mentor/mentee relationships. These assistants help promote the classes and then assist the teacher during the classes. In exchange for this work, the mentor will generally allow the mentee to take these classes for free or at a generously discounted price, as well as providing professional advice and guidance. Try finding a professional and teacher whose style you like. Ask that person clearly but directly about serving as an assistant. Always be very clear about each of your expectations regarding the arrangement. Some of these arrangements can get very uncomfortable when each party has made different assumptions and no firm agreements were established in advance.

Another good place to look for a mentor artist is at your local art center, professional theater, or writers' center. These organizations often have artist-in-residence programs where more skilled artists will offer guidance and instruction to emerging artists.